She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Panties = found
Randomize
