Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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