it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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