i need an iv and a liver transplant
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
