i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
