Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There r osticjed everywhere
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
