dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
