If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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