we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
