i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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