i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
