Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
