And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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