well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
