I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We just shotgunned beers for America
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
