Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
