when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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