butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
