Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
