At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
