Just cropdusted the office
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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