margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My liver just broke up with me...
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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