My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
