the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
