How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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