shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
barbara walters just said penis...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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