Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
