Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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