The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
