If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
