Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
