So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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