you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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