no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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