how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
