Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
