buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
