john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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