when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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