well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
