i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
