The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
