Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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