Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just found puke in my bra..
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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