how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
