Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
