im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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