please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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