Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
