I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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