my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
