you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
