Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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