how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
